Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Martyr-hood


On my journey to work this morning I had a revelation.

As I was hastening to make it on time, busily fumbling with the very office keys that would imprison me for the rest of the day, a lonely “Santa Clause” floated past my face beckoning me to make a wish.


Its white fluffy strands of hope tantalising my defeated soul with implied optimism.

If I were at any other stage in my life, I know exactly what I would have wished for.

No, not world peace or anything similarly as wasteful, it would have been of self indulgent proportions.

An aspiration that would have made certain success was finding its way into my life.

I would have wished for freedom – freedom from the company that has held me hostage for the past fourteen years of my life.

I would have wished to be accosted by a publishing company, to bathe myself in glorified manuscripts and accolades.

I would have called upon an abundance of riches, revelling in the fact of never having the need to go without again.

I would will contentment and fulfilment into my reality.

I would have begged that little white fluffy ball of hope, for the pool I’ve always yearned for. In addition to the perfect bikini body to accessorise those tranquil ripples of silky deliciousness.

Alas, these are no longer the primary desires of my existence.

Something cosmic happens to a woman the instant she realises that she is with child.

Priorities shift, her needs and wants are no longer principally with regards to herself.

The “martyr” in motherhood takes over her subconscious like a parasite feeding off her all consuming egocentricity.

The well being of the child becomes paramount.

It is an involuntary action, like breathing, or blinking when someone annoyingly waves their hand too close to your vision.

Every breath, every inhalation becomes an act of service toward the little people and we only ever really exhale when their needs have been met.

Every hope, every prayer, every wish is for their safety, happiness, health, well being and prospects for a successful life.

Every action no longer rests on the scope of self gain magnitude.

The instant I became a parent I felt my priorities in this life shift.

I would willingly sacrifice all of my aspirations, in order to offer the little people even a remote chance to pursue theirs.

I would willingly utilise my existence as a means of a sacrificial offering to the universe.

I have learnt, albeit begrudgingly to share my plate of food with the little scavengers who although have their own plate, prefer to eat off of mine.

I have given up countless hours of sleep, checking and re checking and scrutinising their chest cavity for signs of consistent breathing.

I have discovered that my position here on this planet, is to ensure that my children are granted the opportunity to become the best they can be in this life. To instil in them the confidence to reach for the stars, and if all else fails be their safety net in case they fall.

The martyr element of motherhood accepts the fact that I may actually never accomplish anything remarkably remote to what I’ve already accomplished by simply having them in my life.

I will work as hard as I can physically to become a published writer, but I will never wish upon it.

Those wishes are reserved for the little people. Therefore it may never happen for me.

I am comfortable with this concept.

The little people may just happen to follow their bliss to success.

My simple wish upon a Santa Clause may have been the very thing that helped them on their journey.

So every time a Santa Clause wish passes me by, I grab that little fluffy ball of hope and wish with all of my being – on behalf of my children.

The very fact that I have these little people to act on behalf of means that my dreams, in reality, have already been met.

Their happiness is how I measure the success in my life.

I am a woman, so of course I am owed the prerogative to endlessly complain about my circumstances – but I still do so, with a smile on my soul of souls.

Motherhood has been and always will be my greatest accomplishment.

Lousy pay, but it offers the most rewarding fringe benefits.

Anything else I accomplish, is a blessing…but not a wish come true.

“When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts. A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child. “
Sophia Loren

“If I were to wish for anything, I should not wish for wealth and power, but for the passionate sense of potential -- for the eye which, ever young and ardent, sees the possible. Pleasure disappoints; possibility never.”
Soren Kierkegaard

61 comments:

  1. I was feeling a bit fed up this evening after having the usual dinner time and bed time battles with my little people.

    And then I read this. My eyes are misty. Beautifully written. Think I'll go and give my little people, who are snoozing in bed, a kiss. Thank you for reminding me just how lucky I am.

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  2. Did you open up my head and take out my thoughts? I can identify with everything you said ~ although you definitely expressed it more eloquently!
    (I also have dreams of some day becoming a published author).
    I LOVE the way you write. You are intelligent, witty and a little bit quirky. I am sure you will achieve your dream! I'd buy anything you wrote, for sure ~ especially if it had a foreword interview with your vagina! haha! I read that post again this evening ~ and laughed again!

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  3. Thank you so much for your comments guys. They really do mean the world to me!!
    I absolutely would have that foreword. She'd sue otherwise ;-)

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  4. Absolutely beautiful, I was having a very emotional day today fighting back tears , but reading this has started the tears rolling down my face. What you wrote is so true, and you know, children will not remember how great an employee you are, or how cushioned your bank account is , the thing they do remember are the times you spend together making memories.
    The clearest pictures are the ones seen through the eyes of your children... The sweetest sound is to hear their laughter..and the best gift that can be bestowed upon a woman is to be a mother.
    A child is someone you carry in your womb for 9 months, in your arms a few years , but in your heart for a lifetime.
    you are an excellent mother, and a wonderful writer you will go a long way....

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  5. "Its white fluffy strands of hope tantalising my defeated soul with implied optimism."

    Beautifully writing Romina!!

    We had the same train of thought tonight. Love my babes.

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  6. Motherhood really does shift our priorities. A beautifully written post.

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  7. Lovely post but dont forget the Dad's out there. Try to set an example every day to my little monkeys. Would probably be quite happy not working or achieving anything in life were it not for them They even contribute to my blog!

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  8. What a wonderful mum you are! Moving stuff. "Everthing else I accomplish is a blessing" well said! x

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  9. Super post, dont forget the Dad's without my little monkeys am sure I would happily fester in my pit all day every day. They keep me going and make me live my life as an example to them, so far so good.

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  10. beautifull, wonderfully written, thank you for this piece of magic,

    I concur with all you have written, but you have put it so perfectly...thank you :)

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  11. Thankyou all for your kind words! I guess we all feel it don't we?
    ...and I absolutely meant to include fathers - it's just I was kind of going for a theme linking back to the name of the blog and all. But in my heart I was writing on behalf of both parents I promise :-)

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  12. I think I'm going to come back and read this every time I'm feeling disgruntled and cranky. I know its all about perspective - and generally we've got the best seat on the mommy train. Another awesome post Lx

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  13. I know lol but hey gotta big myself up cause i am a good dad;) sorry about double comments blinking PC

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  14. Thanks for following. Following you back from the Thursday blog hop

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  15. Beautiful post. I too love being a Mommy. I have only been doing it for a little over a year, but I cannot believe how fulfilling it is.

    Thank you for linking up with the Explore Play and Learn blog hop. Sorry it has taken me all week to follow you back. The creepy crud decided to take up residence in my head. Now that I am feeling human again I am following and commenting. We are hopping again tomorrow and all weekend long if you want to link up again! Have a great weekend!

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  16. Awesome post! Your newest follower here via GFC.

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  17. Very Nicely Said!! I’m a new follower Happy Thursday!! I would love for you to stop and take a look at my blog as well! Thanks!
    http://heavenlysavings.blogspot.com

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  18. thanks for your kind words at p+t! I'm following you back and looking forward to reading your hilarious blog!

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  19. Motherhood changes everything. It's so hard to describe but you hit it dead on. Beautifully written.

    Following you from Terrific Thursday Blog Hop.

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  20. WOW, following you back from bloggy moms. Thanks so much for this post because it's how I live and you put it beautifully!

    Shannon
    www.joyblessedchaos.blogspot.com

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  21. True That Lady!! Lol. I completely agree with you! Good job on that post. I really enjoyed it!

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  22. Great post! I love your site! I am now a follower (Bloggy Moms).

    Shelley
    http://www.evenandyblog.com

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  23. So true! Even for a mere Father

    Cheers A

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  24. great blog!! coming to you from bloggy moms! would love to have you follow my blog!

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  25. I absolutely love your writing. I even read several more posts! Glad you found me, I am following back, and most excitedly so!

    Leetah East
    http://afkdinner.blogspot.com
    http://leetahinwriting.blogspot.com

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  26. Awesome Post! I so love the way you write and always enjoy your blog. You become a much richer person once you have kids....I know I know they bloody take all our money but they do make us rich in so many other ways don't they. Keep up the excellent writing and Mummying too xo

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  27. BTW I have had a whole heap of those same things things chasing me around my entertaining area. You know how they just float by after they have come off the stem? well I wonder if we put them altogether if we could get what the kids/hubby/friends/perfect strangers and oh then us what we want? worth a shot hey?! Please don't tell me once they ar off the steam the wish won't happen? Don't give up on your wishes or they may never come true xo

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  28. Thankyou for all of the beautiful comments everyone xx Much appreciated!

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  29. So beautiful and thoughtful post...I really enjoyed while reading it ....I am a proud mother ... Sure to see some more inspirational post from you
    Your new follower from
    Craft.a.World
    Hope you like to pay a visit to my new spring arrangement saved in a cloche
    http://craftaworld.blogspot.com/
    Love
    Farah

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  30. Beuatiful post, thanks for passing by and I will definetly be visiting you again. : )

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  31. I love your post! There are so many things that on there that goest through my head as well. I absolutely love it!!!! If it's ok, I may fwd that to some of my friends.

    Thanks for stopping by my blog, I am following you back. I am definitely coming back to read more, I have enjoyed reading what I have read so far!! Great job!

    Hope
    http://www.peanutbutterandhopey.com

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  32. By the way, you have an adorable family!!!

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  33. I wish on every santa claus I see :)) Love your blog and thank you for your kind words on mine xoxo

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  34. Motherhood was the best thing I have ever done aside from getting saved and then married. It has been the best but tough journey I have ever committed to and would never change it. To love selflessly and to be loved unconditionally is the best gift ever.

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  35. Thanks for swinging by 2 Against 1 - Twins following back now. Have a great weekend!

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  36. Beautifully written!

    Found you on Bloggy Moms.

    http://ahootiehoot.blogspot.com

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  37. Thanks for joining our Terrific Thursday Blog Hop. Have a great weekend! :)
    Rondi
    moms-with-style.com
    wahmresourcesite.com

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  38. Lovely writing. I'm thinking of my girls blowing dandelion-heads the other day as we walked to school. Made me tear right up. Precious times. Thanks for the reminder.

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  39. What an absolutely gorgeous piece of writing. You are wonderful mother. There are enough wishes out there for you all xx

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  40. yeah I'm with you on the motherhood thing, I once heard a celebrity on a interview say that fatherhood made him feel like he had got acceptance into a secret club, he never knew existed - so true for me!!

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  41. How beautiful. I reckon my mothering is my greatest achievement too. Love your writing xx

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  42. You've put into words what I've finally came to accept and realise, a few weeks ago. That being a mother is my greatest achievement - it IS my career. :)

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  43. Wow. What an introduction to your blog. Thank you for finding and following mine! I love that Sophia Loren quote. And I never heard them called Santa Clauses. Who knew?

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  44. What a beautiful post! It took me a while to reconcile myself to the change of priorities, but now I can honestly say, too, that motherhood is my career of choice. I do have other dreams that are impossible to combine with being the mother that I want to be at the moment. Maybe one day, maybe never, I have made my choice.

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  45. I feel exactly the same way. For me, it was instantaneous. One minute it was about me, the next it was all about them. I am so at peace with that.

    As my children grow a little older, I feel something shifting again. I wonder what that will be? x

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  46. What a beautiful post! I love the way you write. I have been in a similar frame of mind lately, thank you for expressing it so well! Thank you for checking me out and following me, I am thrilled to follow you back! I look foward to reading more about your "Martyred life"!

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  47. Beautiful! Being a parent is the most important role we can play. Thanks for visiting my pet/nature blog. http://www.creatorscreatures.blogspot.com
    Please come on over and join my Intentional Conscious Parenting Blogfrog community. We have an eclectic group of parents, grandparents and lot's of writers. http://www.intentionalconsciousparenting.com/p/icp-blog-frog-community.html
    New follower. ~ Carol

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  48. Ohh I love that line about their happiness being the measure of success of your life - very powerful.

    Mich x

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  49. Thank you SO much for being my first follow and I look forward to following you as well! Thanks Again!

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  50. You have such a beautiful writing style!

    Your newest fan
    Paul
    http://fromsheeptoalligators.blogspot.com/

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  51. Beautiful post and even more beautiful kids x

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  52. Well said. I totally feel the same way. I am a true martyr for my kids. And being a mom is what I do best. Too bad the pay sucks.

    BTW, I am your newest follower.

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  53. I dare say this post made me a little misty. Not only because I have felt the beginning part (the hopes and desires) and the end part (the who cares - because now I have you...) but also because I know that you have a third stage to go through (and maybe a fourth but I don't know it yet), so your post made me excited (for you and the other people that commented) and reminiscent (for me).

    BTW thanks for following me, I am returning your follow. :)

    Karen Andrews
    http://showermebaby.blogspot.com/

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  54. Beautiful post! Returning some Blog Luv!

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  55. absolutely beautiful and oh so true! You ahve just spoken so eloquently for so many of us moms! Thank you for reminding me that even on the worst of days - the days where it feels I am about to pull my hair out - being a mom is without equal the best thing I ahve been blessed to do with my life!

    Following back bc I LOVE what you are doing here!
    Bernadette
    http://momto2poshlildivas.blogspot.com

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  56. This IS lovely! It's great to be able to put things back into perspective...Children are such a blessing from the Lord, and he knew it would be hard, but SOOOO worth it!

    God bless! And thank you for following my blog, too!

    TK Goforth

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  57. Very well said! Thanks for this post!
    New follower www.classifiedmom.com

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  58. Giving you a follow back thanks for stopping by today.

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