Monday, March 28, 2011

Say nothing, do nothing, be nothing.

"To avoid criticism say nothing, do nothing, be nothing."

I can honestly say that I have reached a point in my life, where, artistically I feel challenged.
I feel invigorated.
This inspirational air that is filling my lungs , breathing new life into my once deflated soul, is doing a world of good for my psyche.
Not to mention my complexion.
This pregnancy has been an absolute blessing in many regards. Obviously for the fact that we are having another beautiful child and extending our young family - but also because this pregnancy, whether it be the hormones or something more of a divine intervention, has re ignited a fire within me that at one stage had dwindled out.
Extinguished by the breeze of life's reality.
By self doubt.
By the constant need to place importance elsewhere.
I feel the wind of change in the air.
I feel alive again, I feel re born, I feel kind of fucking tired, but euphoric with the premise of hope none the less.
I have finally begun to write my novel.
The one that I have been editing in my head for what seems to be an eternity.
It's going to be a beautiful thing.
At least  I hope it will be.
It is not the easiest thing in the world to chase a dream when you have other priorities.
But motherhood has taught me many things in life.
One of them being, how you feel about yourself, actually reflects in your own children.
When you are highly strung, sad, and have despair in your soul, your own little people unwittingly take on your burden.
I learnt this the hard way.
Anxiety is contagious.
Little people do not understand how to cope with feelings of angst.
The angst that you unknowingly feed them, along with their daily nutrients.
Nourishing their growing bodies is not nearly enough for them, for their well being.
You need to nourish their souls also. But in order to be in the right frame of mind to do so, first, you must nurture your own.
Martyrdom is not an admirable thing if it comes at the expense of your little person's mental health.
Sometimes, by doing something for ourselves, we are also catering for our child's needs.
Because sometimes, all our child needs, is a happy Mummy.
A Mummy who feels self worth and is able to reflect that lesson upon her own children.
A Mummy who doesn't feel resentment toward her lifestyle, even though it may be the very lifestyle she cultivated for herself.
A Mummy who doesn't feel dread as she wakes up of a morning knowing that the only thing she will ever aspire to being, is a mother or a wife.
This may be enough for some people.
If it is, I absolutely commend you because I thought it would be enough for me.
But alas, it wasn't.
As much as I love my lifestyle, my husband, my children, I needed an escape.
A place just for me.
A place where being a wife didn't take priority over being my own person.
A place where I could still be a mother at heart, but celebrate my artistic mind.
A place where I needn't be censored, a place where I could let my imagination roam free.
I often have this conversation with my husband, where, if I had started earlier, my dream of being a published author would have absolutely been realised by now.
The irony is the fact that it is my family, the very little people that keep me from writing at free will, that are my inspiration. The very reason I am pursuing my goals.
I had a more important goal to pursue, and that is why I never felt the urgency to realise this dream earlier.
My goal was to create a family for myself.
Therefore I find it serendipitous that I have been re united with my passion, by another passion.
My family.
This pregnancy, although was "an accident" - was by all means a fateful event.
I will be ever grateful to you my little Loren.
You have rekindled my passion, and I dedicate this book to you dear child.
And of course my other little people, the ones who are driving me crazy at this very moment arguing over a tea set.
People may criticise my timing, but it is because of my children that I want to say something, do something, be something.
Just hope it's not shit.


  1. Great post (LOVE the preggy photo of you and kids BTW...LOVE it!!) I loved what you said - "How you feel about yourself reflects in your own children." It is true - and yet in an even deeper way than I as a mom sometimes can fathom. My children (all children, I believe) reflect love instantly - we fill them up, they spread that love around.

  2. Oh brilliant post. I feel like this came out of my own head. My children helped to resuscitate the real me back to life after being suppressed by too many fearful years working in corporate hell. Congratulations on chasing your dreams. I hope you catch them (I'm sure you will). I'm running alongside you...xoxo

  3. Are you sure you can't name her Serendipity? There was a character on Neighbours called that once.
    Getting to the 'Happy Mummy' is my goal... whether I get there through a rewarding career or zoloft washed down with vodka doesn't really matter to me at the moment :)

  4. I love the pregnancy photo! It is great. Nice post. And very honest. I appreciate it.

  5. Sometimes it's spooky how much alike you and I seem to be! I have also started work on a manuscript. Just like you I have always wanted to write, always said that one day I would do it. So it may seem strange to some people that I have waited until I have three children under four to do it. But they have given me the inspiration and motivation to follow my dreams. Good luck ~ You can put me down for a copy when you've finished!

  6. Great post! As others have said, you captured a piece of my own thoughts. I needed to have my children too feel that I had something to share. When I became a mother who I was and who I wanted to be clicked. Now I feel I have something to say. Much luck on your book! I really believe a happy mommy has happy kids! Thanks!

  7. Well done to see you moving toward your goals. Brilliant.


  8. I don't believe it will be shit beautiful :) Go you good thing! And I totally agree, everyone needs a little something just for themselves :)

  9. Can i just say that i am ssssssspppppeeewing we didnt talk more at the conference? You inspire me so much. I need to find my "me" thing amongst the kids and the Captain and the autism and all the other crap. Remind me to do it will ya? xx
    PS: fab post

  10. You words are inspiring, you are inspiring. It is so important for especially us mothers (don't want to discriminate, but lets face it .. we do most of the nurturing!!) to nourish our own souls (and bodies.. what did u previously say about a cab merlot??!). How can we possibly give our family our 'whole being' when the 'being' is falling to pieces!! I've personally started a journey of self-discovery (pls.. no jokes about women lacking spatial abilities !!) and thanks to my multi-tasking skills I'm starting to take care of me too!
    So .. raise your glasses ladies (and gents) and lets celebrate "us". Cheers
    PS. .. I shall have a copy of thy book too pls.

  11. So glad to hear all the positives and great vibe! Awesome post!

  12. I sat here in tears reading your post because I too realised this week that I need to get a life beyond this. I have one little person and two bigger people, and the week is booked (all 7 days) with activities for all (husband as well) but me. The 5 yr old noticed my name wasn't on the activites timetable, no one else. So like you, I realize that, I need to rekindle that fire within for my little person, because to him, my sanity is important. Thanks for your perfectly timed post, loved the ending. Now, I can't stop laughing.

    LOVE LOVE LOVE your work.

  13. Extinguished by the breeze of life's reality.

    Ohhh Man, Ms. Martyr.... this is very profound stuff. I think you're a bloddy genius! Maybe you should just stay pregnant and write.

    Love these important messages.. keep um coming. Keri

  14. I know exactly how you feel, and as someone older who's been there, may I offer you this piece of advice? Don't give up on your writing. I was also inspired to begin writing again after becoming a mother, but as the kids grew & we became busy with sports/lessons/homework etc. etc. etc. I just let it slip away. You are far to talented to stop pursuing your dream. Don't let life get in the way!

  15. You must never limit your challenges.. instead you must always challenge your limits challenges aren't there to stop you...they're there to help you grow" challenges come before us so that we can discover the magnitude of our inner strength, and without such challenges we will never grow stronger! Once in awhile, no matter what age you are, a person needs to hear someone is proud of them and their achievements.
    Never give up on a dream even if others do not encourage it. You have the dream and the desire of it for a reason. Follow your heart and you cannot go wrong. From what you’ve written and I’ve read so far all I can say is you have a natural gift I always look forward to the next one.
    As far as our children are concerned we get many things from our little ones, laughter, tears, frustration, insanity, joy ,insanity but above all happiness and the one thing we can give is unconditional love and this, I guess is our drive in life. And I must add you have 3 of the most beautful kids , but then again look at their mum :)
    Each day allows you to begin again. As you wake, remind yourself that your future is not yet written. You have the ability to make it what you will. - T Wilburn

  16. Life's greatest treasure isn't money or fame but wisdom and the confidence to believe in oneself and to encourage others to think and feel the same especially children ,always remember any and all obstacles in life and dreams are full filled by believing in one thing... yourself.. Good Luck on your book:)

  17. Wonderful post as ever and so true. As a parent filled with self doubt in my parenting abilities (hey i never had a good role model;)) being the best person i can be, including time for me and the things i love means i am the best Dad i can be. Madam keep up the simply wonderful work.

  18. I find your posts so touching and I definitely feel somewhat on the same page being pregnant with number four child. These babies are surely life changers in a huge wonderful way, I told hub it's an epiphany baby LOL. Good luck with your book, you have the passion, soul and drive of a writer - I'm sure you will be a success :D

  19. It isn't possible that anything you write will be shit. Bite your tongue!!

  20. Such an honest and well written post. I think very much the same way and am on a similar course as you. Good luck on your journey to being a published author x

  21. You always have a great post and your writing will never be shit. I too have decided in the last few months that something has to change around here. I need to start being me again not just mommy. Good luck in getting published.
    I will be one of the first to go out and buy your book.

  22. I love reading your blog! Definately entertaining and you should know you are absolutely gorgeous! I am a newer follower and would love for you to follow me back

  23. Really great blog. That escape route is so important when we have a family. They are of course everything to us, but there are times when we just have to treat ourselves and take that time out to do the things we have always wanted to do. Good luck with the novel.

    Came here via Terrific Blog Hop Thursday.
    CJ xx

  24. Beautiful! It is so true that our kids are little reflections of us. I need to remember that the next time they get all smart mouthed and roll their eyes at me. ;-)

  25. Uplifting and I'm looking forward to the book!

    Regards, mari

  26. What a wonderful post! I so agree. I am a mum and am writing a memoir and sometimes it feels selfish taking me time but on the other hand it makes me feel so much better so it is worth it. You are doing the right thing, nurturing yourself as well as your kids

  27. May I just say how much you made my day and truly put the right spin on it. Be blessed and stay creative.
    visiting from

  28. ... am pretty sure that it won't be shit (you make me laugh).

    Follow your bliss. What better example could you set for your children?


  29. I always enjoy reading you posts. Good luck on your book! Thanks for linking up to Terrific Thursday Blog Hop! Have a great weekend! :)

  30. So true. So easy to became part of the dark side;-)
    I tend to be sucked in by it so often, in my moods and grumpiness. So lucky my boyfriend keeps wakes me up when I do this and tell me to be a nice girl and stop being shitty.
    You have a very hard job be there for your little ppl, and yes, I see how hard it is to suck it up when you have to be nice and everything tho you are tired or angry or whatever.
    I have no doubt you are a great mother tho and that you try to avoid all the bad and negative things from their lives,based on your own childhood experiences.

    I admire you for that. xx

  31. Remember Romina, "Inspiration comes from within, you just sometimes need to be reminded" :-)

    blog is going well! first step to writing for real, ain't it!

    hey, new award has stared if you're interested to have another go, or if you'd like to share with others!

    The Torkona Award II - Your First Born Birth Story

    keep up the good work!

    - tork

  32. I can't wait till I get preg with my #3!
    I'm your new follower and would love a follow back! Thanks!

  33. We all need `that place' just for us, Romina. What you're doing is fantastic. Keep it up.
    I agree, we are reflected in our children too (which would explain why my three year old is grumpy today). Gee, I hate the end of daylight savings and baby's waking at 4.45am!! Must aim to be a happy mum tomorrow. :)

  34. Recently, I've really been contemplating what I want to do when I grow up:) I used to be a video editor and no longer want to do that. I have very much been feeling the pull of being something other than a mom! I totally know what you're talking about. Heather

  35. Great Post!!!! Amazingly inspirational, thank you.

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