Little man, today you turn 3.
I’ve been struggling to write you this letter, because I simply don’t want it to be so. You are growing up way too quickly my love and I just wish you would slow down a bit. Each day that passes I notice a little something different about you that concretes the fact that you are indeed growing up. Whether it’s a new word that you’ve learnt, a new song, or even a facial expression, time is not waiting for me to be emotionally ready to let you go.
You are such a joy, little man. There is no other way to put it. I still get excited each morning to wake up to your little face beckoning me out of bed “Mummy!! It’s morning time!!...Mum….Muuum…Mum!!!”, or my personal favourite, “Mummy!! It’s coffee time!! Wake up!!” It never gets old.
You sleep in your bus bed, although every night you initially fall asleep with me as we unwind and watch television together in my bed (watching “mummy’s show”). It’s my favourite time of the night. We cuddle, and laugh and giggle and every night before your dad joins us, you lean over and whisper to me “Mummy, this is OUR bed, not Daddy’s”. Truth be told, it kind of is at the moment. Between you and Loren, I don’t remember the last time your dad and I have spent a whole night in our bed kid free!!
You have a security pillow that you sleep with every night. In fact you carry it around with you ALL THE TIME. It started off as just the red velvet pillow that you would cart around and treasure, although it’s now morphed into a whole new thing. Your main security pillow is your red velvet one, although you also have a “Yee ha” (Toy Story) one as well. That’s not all, you quirky little boy!! You’d think lugging two pillow cases around with you at all times would be enough, no? Well it’s not. You also MUST have your Wiggles “blankie” and a “Racing car” pillowcase (with no pillow in it) with you, or at least near you when you’re at home. You are a banana.
We have a special affiliation with the moon, little man. We often look out to the night sky from bed together. Or so you think. Sometimes you observe how close and “big” the moon appears. You seem so excited with your findings that I don’t have the heart to tell you that it’s actually the street lamp outside of our house that you are commenting on. It’s so sweet I can barely contain myself from covering your little face with kisses.
Santiago, you are almost fully toilet trained! During the day you wear underwear, although at night you still need a nappy. We have a few accidents here and there (Ready Set Play!!), but on the whole you are doing really well. So well in fact, you like an audience when you’re in the toilet (“Look at me mum!!”). Your dad has taught you to wee outside which you (and Lola) find quite fun. It makes you feel like a big boy (just like dad).
Even though you are the only boy with three sisters, you are really into all things masculine. You love cars, trucks, airplanes, trains, riding your bike and anything with a motor in it. Let’s not forget the WIGGLES, who you are still obsessed with. You don’t even mind the new WIGGLES. You’ll take them however you can! Luckily you have learnt the actual colours by name at this point and have stopped calling yellow – Greg, Red – Murray etc. You occasionally still do it, but I’m in no rush to let go of your little baby idiosyncrasies just yet. Although you enjoy your boy toys, you still have a maternal side in you! I often see you rocking a “baby” to sleep, not to mention the way you are with Loren.
You are hands down the best big brother on the face of this earth. When I see you with Loren, my heart explodes. You are always looking out for her. Whether you are asking her if she would like a turn of your toys, or finding her “blankie” for her, you are always there when she needs you. If she’s hurt you are caring towards her:
“ You alright Loren?” you’ll ask with a furrowed brow. You are the big brother and you take that role very seriously. Don’t get me wrong you both have your moments where you want to play with the same toy and there will be fighting involved, but the majority of time you consider yourself to be her guardian. You two are thick as thieves. Add Lola to the mix and you are all best friends for life. You three spend a lot of time together, with Luca being at school – so naturally you have a special bond that delights me to see evolving. The relationships and dynamics between you four are constantly changing, and will change again once Lola starts school next year.
You absolutely love your sisters. Love. Can’t do without them. You cry when you aren’t with them. I asked you who you wanted at your birthday party this year and you said each one of your sisters names. Not your friends though, because they are naughty apparently!! You are really family orientated, and I absolutely love that about you. I soak it up now, because they all tell me that it will change once you become old enough to fall in love. All I ask, my boy, is that you stick by your sisters. It is a tough world out there and if anything were to happen to me at any point I want to know that both you and your sisters will look out for each other in life. Stick by one another. Your sisters absolutely love you. You are the glue that holds those crazy girls together
Lola calls you “Santi” at the moment. It’s super cute and I love it. I’ve heard you call yourself that as well, and with your lisp it is just the cutest thing. Loren is still struggling with your name. She calls you “Yago”, which is also really gorgeous. You have so many pet names that I’m surprised you remember them all! You mean so much to so many people that they all have a different and equally special connection with you. That is a great quality to have, little man.
Speaking of connections, the one you have with your dad is nothing less than ADORABLE. He recently went to Melbourne for work, and on the day you were expecting him home, you waited at the front door with a banana for him telling anyone that would listen to you, “This banana is for my dad!”
When asked who you’d like a play date with, invariably the answer will always be “I want to have a play date with my dad.”
I recently bought you a packet of underwear, and putting two and two together that you and your father are the only males in the house, offered to share the packet with him. “You want some of my undies, Dad? They have cars on them”. Seriously the cuteness is too much that many, many times your dad and I just look at each other and melt.
Santi, you have such a warm heart. You are giving by nature and you genuinely care about others. This makes me so very proud of you.
You hate school. You only have to go once a week, but that once is too much for you. Once you are there you are fine, but the tears start in the morning at home as soon as you realize where you are headed for the day. It breaks my heart. So much so that I cannot actually drop you off. Your dad takes you. Last time I was in charge of dropping you off at school, you said those heartbreaking words “Mummy, please don’t leave me.”, which saw me take the day off work to spend with you. We went shopping and had a great time together, so secretly I’m not complaining. Any time spent with you is time worth spending, little man. I will never leave you. Never.
You are addicted to chewing gum. So much so, that I constantly have a stash on me to sooth you when you are upset. It is the only thing that will stop the tears, or make you sit still (somewhat) when we are waiting for the girls to finish Karate.
You like me to spike your hair up like “Mr Maker”. Every day at bath time you want reassurance that I won’t be washing you hair. You hate washing it, unless you are doing yourself.
You are my absolute love little man. I cannot even express the feeling I get inside when I look at those big brown eyes of yours when you call me Mummy. I would turn the world inside out for you my love. Your smile reduces me to mush. You are so charismatic, but it’s your loving nature that makes my heart swell up to twice it’s size when I think of you. You’re funny. So funny. You are constantly making me laugh with your jokes or antics. You can be a little bit naughty at times too, well, not so much naughty, but lively. I pretend to get cranky with you, but secretly I wouldn’t want you any other way.
Recently I was trying to convince your father to have another baby. I desperately wished for another boy. I was positive that’s what would make my life complete. I tried for months to get your father excited about it, until I did some soul searching and realized it wasn’t what I actually wanted. I didn’t want another son. I wanted another you. That’s how much I love you little man. I would clone you if I could because to me, you are just perfect in every way. There is a ray of light in you, which shines so brightly on this world. Just as the moon lights the night sky. Or the street lamp illuminates the dark path. Don’t ever let anyone dim that light, my love. It is in you, and you are special.
I love you more and more with each day that passes. I truly feel blessed to be your mother and witness the miracle of you growing up.
Happy third birthday Santiago, you will always be the little man of my dreams.